6/27/07 03:45 am
Sometimes, I've sworn I was an empath for the depth of emotion I've felt, of joy, of happiness, contentment, sorrow, sadness, anger, embarassment. There are reasons why I avoid most dramas, nearly all horror and angst-ridden fic, most of them being my discomfort with most of my emotions, most of dissolve into sorrow or crying, those few that don't I have a hard time speaking of them, for I lack the words to properly explain them. Some part of me, I feel, will always ache for the magic of my books, stories, and what fiction I write, for the ability to show my emotions to others without words getting in the way, the power to fix what small ills of the world I could, and truly be all of who I am, healer and carer and protector, to live my life as quietly or not as I chose, and dabble in aught that's interesting and naught that isn't, to not worry about money, to draw out the vibrant images of clothes, and jewels, and people roaming my mind. To share the near pastoral contentment of Madeline's family having Midsummer's lunch with her parents, all them laying about on blanketed grass or playing as suits them in the Katsuragi burial place, with her parents' spirits happy, together again, and enjoying their daughter's family all about, and to carry tales back to those family spirits that couldn't or didn't come